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Why you might not be having a sexy xmas

Updated: Apr 11

🎶 Have yourself a sexually frustrated Christmas 🎶…

That’s how the song goes right? No?!? 😂

Do you get left feeling a bit deflated about your sex life over Christmas?

Or perhaps even annoyed or irritated by the expectation of it?

Credit to a good friend and coach for suggesting this as a topic prior to Christmas who asked could I talk about “how bloody unsexy Christmas can be”.

As often is the case when it comes to many things in life, including sex, a disconnect between reality and expectation can often lead to disappointment.

In our heads we might think:

“Great! We are both off work, we don’t have to rush out the door, my partner will be more relaxed. Maybe we’ll have a little drink which always makes getting things going easier. Can’t wait!”

Like all things, for some of you reading this will be true and perhaps you have amazing sex over xmas. If that’s you then AWESOME! But spare a thought for those less fortunate…

Why might xmas NOT work out as you imagine? Here’s a few:

  1. Your partner has spent weeks or months organising this day. From selecting and buying gifts, wrapping them all and the inevitable last minute preparations this can leave our partners feeling exhausted and a million miles from sexy…

2)  You’ve had to plan and travel extensively to visit family. Again fatigued. Not sexy…

3)  You don’t get along with your family or your partners. Not sexy…

4)  You have kids. They are HYPER for days leading upto xmas day. They don’t sleep well and         never stop bargeing into your bedroom unannounced. Not sexy…

5) You and your partner have completely overindulged. You’re stuffed to the gills with xmas dinner and puddings and frankly the only horizontal action you want is to be plonked on the sofa watching Die Hard ( it’s the best xmas movie ever don’t even try… ). Not sexy.. well maybe a bit if you’re into Bruce Willis 😂

6) You’ve had much too much to drink. The mind is willing but the flesh is not…

I’m sure you could think of a few yourself that I haven’t covered here!

So what’s the answer to a very sexy xmas?

Honestly… I think it’s about connecting to our reality.

Taking expectation off the table.

Grab little moments of intimacy here and there IF you can. Don’t worry that it’s “not enough”.

If you’re the partner that’s exhausted and overwhelmed at xmas please communicate this to your partner or share this article with them. If you feel able have a chat about it ahead of time.

Accept that there will opportunities another day and relax and enjoy quality time with your family and friends.

Just know that if you don’t manage to have sexy time this xmas you’re not alone!

man and woman in Christmas jumpers open presents and looking disappointed

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