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  • richardharkness33

The best gift to create more intimacy is probably not what you think

I want to tell you about the best gift I ever gave my wife to promote more intimacy between us...


Two smooth rocks and two bottles of oil on a wooden table


If you’re in a relationship I’m willing to bet at some point now or in the future you’ve treated yourself to spa pamper day and as part of that you’ve both been for a massage and come away feeling super chilled. It’s amazing right?!


But these days / weekends are expensive. The cost soon racks up if you want to do this as a regular habit together.


There’s a way to get more of this feeling and it creates some added benefits you can’t get with a paid masseuse. No, not like that but I’ll come back to that!


The answer?


Attend a couples massage course!


There you will learn how to properly and safely give one another massages.


I treated us to this a number of years ago and it was an AMAZING experience!


It wasn’t weird at all, our dignity was maintained at all times and we were there with other like minded couples too. In our case we made it part of a weekend away so we enjoyed a hotel stay away and being fully pampered together!


The fantastic thing about this once you’re done you can continue at home to give one another regular massages in a way that promotes something that is incredibly important in couples.


Non-sexual touch and intimacy.


It’s an opportunity to increase touch together, have skin on skin time and often a chance to slow down and relax together. Something often missing in our hurried lives.


You can talk or you can chose to be silent. I think that’s up to the massage receiver to lead the way how they would like that to go.


You can create more of a spa mood by having some relaxing mood lighting and music and scented candles or massage oils ( pro tip - warm the oil before you start! ). It’s amazing what some coloured lighting or candles and a spa music playlist / favourite chilled playlist can do!


This one is for the guys - do NOT, I repeat NOT, go into this thinking it’s a sneaky way to have more sex!


Your partner will see through this quickly and stop wanting to engage in them and it will reduce their trust in you.


Agree together these massages are purely for the benefit of the recipient and that should be the expectation throughout. That being said… if the partner being massaged does want to take things further they should clearly signpost as much so the giver knows it’s OK!


It’s hard to get across how beneficial regular massages together can be. Although the outlay for a course might be significant it’s a lot cheaper than paying for them regularly and if your partner loves the sound of the idea it might just be one of the best investments you’ll ever make together.


If you’ve any questions about doing this or our experience then leave a comment.


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