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  • richardharkness33

If you feel sexual shame you're not alone

Updated: Apr 10

Do you feel a sense of shame around sex?

Or could it be and you’re not even aware of it?

Let’s acknowledge that shame thrives when you feel alone and isolated.

So I am here to tell you

You’re not alone.

Please if you take nothing more from this remember almost everyone has some degree of sexual shame they live with.

Sexual shame is very common and might show up in peoples thoughts and behaviours in different ways:

Wishing you were more interested in sex

Worrying you think about sex too much / often

Wishing your body looked different

Thinking your fantasies are weird or abnormal and/or judging them that they are “wrong”

Avoiding important discussions around sex with your partner(s) or healthcare provider about sexual issues

Acting out your desires online or with paid professionals

Judging other peoples lifestyles and sexual behaviours

And much more…

Often many of us have had messages given to us growing up by the media, our parents, religious leaders, friends and family about what is “right” and “wrong” sexually.

But take a second to think about that:

NONE of these are YOUR thoughts about sex and sexuality.

UNLESS…. You’ve taken the time to think about your beliefs and really dig into them

Where do they come from?

Are they REALLY what you believe?

Are they in conflict with what you’ve been told you SHOULD believe ( a potent source of shame )

Do they serve you as they are OR could they serve you better if you reshaped them to better suit YOU and who you ARE.

This could be difficult or surprisingly easy and refreshing.

Only one way to find out…

P.S. I felt it was important to acknowledge here that a very small number of people may have sexual thoughts that frighten and scare them that they might carry them out and cause harm to themselves or others as a result. If this is the case I urge you to seek professional medical help as soon as possible or attend your local police station or emergency department if urgent.

black and white photo of mans face multiple hands pointing at him

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