Why downplaying is harming you
- Dr Richard Harkness
- Apr 18, 2024
- 2 min read
Updated: Apr 16
Are you often downplaying things?
“It’s fine... it doesn’t matter.”
“Yeah, I did OK I guess.”
“I don’t drink as much as Steve, though.”
“Yeah we’re still together. No idea why she puts up with me but she does.”
I get it. Especially if you’re from the UK, lots of us don’t want to appear boastful or arrogant when it comes to positive things in our life.
Likewise we don’t want to admit when we might be troubled by something or it’s genuinely harming us and we can’t see it.
As a coach the term I use to explain this phenomena to clients is “discounting”.
It applies to the above examples and so much more.
I’m sure if you stopped for a moment and asked yourself “what am I discounting in my life right now?” there is a very good chance you could come up with something.
To discount is to do yourself a disservice however.
To be connected to how you really feel and feel OK to speak it feels so much more free and empowering. It brings you closer to the life you want for yourself.
So how about instead:
“Actually, it’s not fine. This is important to me”
“I’m really proud of myself. I worked hard for this”
“You’re right. I’m drinking too much and I need to stop kidding myself”
“We are a great team together and we’ve put in the work to be together this long”
Slow down.
Raise your awareness to your own discounting and see what happens if you stop doing it.
Related: You Matter
Related: The Price You Pay
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