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5 quick tips to stop your mind wandering during sex

Updated: Apr 9

Does your mind wander during intimate moments with your partner? Read on for 5 simple ideas that can help…

It’s something all of us will have experienced at some point.

Thoughts might pop in our heads like:

“Oh god I look so fat in this position”

“Was that one of the kids coming upstairs?”

“I better not forget to do book my train tickets after this”

“I want to enjoy this but I have so much to do…”

“Should I tell them what I REALLY want?”

If so there’s a good chance it’s interfering with your enjoyment of sex.

This might show up as inability to get or sustain an erection for penis owners and inability or difficulty in getting aroused or climaxing for vulva owners.

But we can’t out-think this difficulty.

We need to slow down.

We need to reconnect to our body.

Yes it’s the dreaded M word…


Here’s 5 simple suggestions to help increase your mindfulness during sex and reduce your mind wandering:

  1. Set the mood. Some suggestions - light some candles, dim / change the colour of your lights, burn some incense. Pop on some of your favourite sexy music ( perhaps something that has fond sexy memories attached to it )

  2. Try not to rush and try not to focus on climax being the end goal. You’re both there to enjoy one another and connect.

  3. Focus on your breath. Try and really slow it down. If you can be aware of your partners breath too.

  4. Bring your awareness to your senses. What pleasant things can you smell / taste / touch and see?

  5. Remember there’s no finish line and no right or wrong way to enjoy sex together.

Don’t worry if it doesn’t work right away. This is a practice and it might take time.

couple relaxed on a bed their feet in the air resting on the wall

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